A Shocking Discovery

I was eight or nine and we lived in a nice house in Lake Park in Palm Beach County, Florida. The floors were terrazzo which are little chips of tile in a hard, white grout smoothed to a mirror-like surface.

My father, who was out of the house, had been doing some work in his bedroom at the time and it was empty of furniture. I remember walking into the room and seeing a metal power drill laying on the floor. It was plugged in.

It was summer and quite warm in South Florida. As usual I was simply dressed in short pants and no shoes or shirt.

As I stood there I was filled an interest in this drill. I wanted to know what it felt like to hold this device in my hand. It reminded me of toy gun. I imagined aiming it at something and with a whirring sound sending out a blast.

I picked it up. It was heavy in my hand. I could feel the cold pot metal. I aimed it at the floor. I knew it would not actually fire a projectile or beam of light. I still braced myself as if it would. I pulled the trigger.

Instantly my body was rattling. I felt the grip of the electricity pouring through the drill into me. In a flash my arm straightened out, my body spun around and the drill flew out of my hand and across the room smashing into the wall with a thud.

I was stunned for a long moment. Then I couldn't believe I had made such a stupid mistake. I don’t know how I knew without being told but I realized I had grounded the drill in the terrazzo floor through my bare feet.

That wasn’t the last time I was shocked by electricity, but it was the last time it was an unexpected surprise.



DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY

All photos copyright Michael B Stone

Why We Sigh.

It's been a while.

When I really love someone, deeply love without equivocation, I have experiences beyond description with any words. The effort to convey actually diminishes the experience. My Love for some people, or because of some people, creates a mystical space in which there are seemingly whole other spaces, as if filled with other beings who also love and create space.

I know, or better yet, I become this space that has no limit. Loosely filling that space is a host of sentient beings whose only intention is to make the space available for my unconditional positive regard to expand. They are like you might expect angels to be if you took away the stereotypical notions. Rather than spectacles of light or shimmering, winged ghost-like creatures they are simply beings, differing from each other and familiar at the same time. The space that opens up and allows greater awareness just because I love unconditionally. Fearlessly.

I believe this is why we sigh. We long for a glimpse of the beyond.

UPDATE

I've been reading in a book loaned to me by Roger, my brother-in-law. It's titled ONLY ONE SKY. It is a series of talks given by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, ISBN0-525-47440-4 copyright 1975.

After having an interesting experience which inspired the first two paragraphs of this post I found myself a few days later reading a page in this book while visiting Roger. It carried a short note regarding the very experience. Rather than quoting the entire explanation of the experience as he stated it I'll quote the short phrase that sums up the rule which when followed creates the experience. From page 17, "When you love, you become nobody. If you remain a somebody then love never happens."

In and about 1988 I wrote a series of poems reflected my deep, painful longing for a return to being "nobody."

This is one of those poems.

“Death”

From Queen to Witch, Kali Ma,
Tears You limb from limb.

The flesh is rent, torn from bones,
Amidst a raucous din.

Futile schemes and selfish plans,
Abruptly come to end.

Centuries of structured mind
An image I defend.

Weeds that root, in rocky soil,
As trees they would pretend.

Starved for loves nurtured way,
Blown by fears great wind.

Clutching threads of mindful scorn,
Swiping at the air.

The ego's plan of wasting death,
My heart it would ensnare.

Falling helpless, through the night,
Pleading in despair,

Creates demise, all of its own
As Shiva's light lays bare.

Slowly dawns, the break of day,
The sun without a care,

Drenches dreams of Wholly Being
Child of God so fair.

What Will Happen In 2012?

A close friend asked me to elucidate on my expectations of the coming changes associated with the "End Of Days" mentioned by scholars of the Mayan Calendar. I felt this was a good way to update my blog which I have neglected recently.

So lets get the mundane out of the way.

I think Obama will be reelected.

Beyond that, I must say I am skeptical of there being a specific event on the date of December 21, 2012. I feel at the heart of the expected change is the way we view time. We've been indoctrinated into viewing time based on seconds, minute and hours which gives us a false measurement of time. If we were to know time in it's purest form we would simply recognize events, i.e. thoughts and external changes in environment such as moon cycles and weather patterns and seasonal shifts, bowel movements, baby feedings, etc.

Time as we view it came into being in the last millennia. In the few thousand years before that it was measured in terms of a rulers life span. Before that it wasn't measured but experienced more like a continuum that as humans lived they felt.

After ingesting a psychoactive substance such as LSD one experiences time more as a reality, a constant shifting pattern of events that more or less relate to external activities and internal psychic patterns. Time becomes more of a great temporal, often beautiful, being whose edges and internal spaces are divine and endowed with a feminine flavor. A cosmic matrix in my experience. Space is where she is not.

As the collective conscious moves more toward the natural view of time and space, recognizing and fully realizing the true illusory nature of these mental constructs, self deception exposed falls away. Insanity will prevail for many. A struggle occurs... to hold onto a point of view that can no longer be sustained.

Some of what I believe we will see occur: There will continue to be revelations regarding who actually drives the socioeconomic engine of the world and their motives (the heart of which appears to be to create suffering, they thrive on others suffering). Other interesting elitist, dark and occulted societies will surface and become exposed. Self serving governments will topple amid ruins. We are seeing that now as Neptune enters Pisces the day I posted this.

People will become educated regarding how much power they actually have in directing their respective group's realizations. More and more we will see various extreme groups vying for control which will lead, eventually, to a greater overall understanding of cooperation. But not before violent shifts in consciousness for many. Violence weeds out the negators of peace and leaves in it's wake those who begin to desire peace over personal and collective beliefs.

I expect more about extraterrestrials will surface as time proceeds from where we are now. The demand for evidence of their existence is growing strong. There was a piece on NPR regarding that very subject yesterday (April 4). As Neptune (the alien to us) enters Pisces (realm of chaos) where it rules, what is vague and hidden, illusory, shows itself. Motives become strikingly evident. BTW:Neptune is my ruling planet and Pisces fills my first house of the body. It promises to be an interesting journey for me, assuming I'll be here to make note of it.

The very notion of time will begin to be altered in the collective. Psychic capacities and spiritual discernment of and by the common person will begin to evolve more rapidly. Natural disasters will be more frequent until the relationship between our collective fear and the fluctuation in the earths skin begins to become evident to more of us, eventually making a quantum shift.

Communication will take a giant leap, telepathy becoming more common place with the Internet serving as a catalyst for same.

As the old guard, people of mine and my mother's generation, pass away there will be more room for those coming after to rapidly expand their consciousness. We don't realize how much we stand in each others way in our effort to control our personal reality. A simple example: It is very difficult to experience intimacy with someone who resists being discovered. Fear of intimacy is the principal obstacle to self awareness. That fear is generated by secrets and hidden agendas.

As these obstacles become more evident in our collective awareness the fear will dissipate and a unity will evolve that cannot harbor a false sense of time and personal space. Of course this is all based on assuming the upheaval of darker energies from our collective unconscious doesn't destroy us. A distinct possibility.

The planet goes through what we go through. It is naturally shifting while we shift in a synthesized way. Thesis (true knowledge) plus anti-thesis (neurosis and limiting beliefs) creating a synthesis (in this case upheaval). It is always working toward balance and as the balance becomes realized the qualities I've placed in parenthesis change to reflect that purer pattern and so the synthesis reflects same.

Then there's the possibility of Planet X to consider. Do you have a hundred million dollar telescope?

What Does GOD Want?

I can only offer my opinion. GOD wants you to be happy. No other expectation has become apparent in all of the years I've been listening. Sixty Three at this point.

Being happy all the time is like riding the crest of a wave. It takes great skill to remain at the top of the wave. In my case I can say near the trough has been my dominant experience.

What seems to be the problem? Well, there are a lot of very wise and good men and women who have already mentioned this in one way or another. The ego is the problem... and, it seems, the solution as well. More on that in a moment.

I've heard GOD "speak" to me a lot in my sixty three Summers. Probably more than most people would be able to say. I'm not bragging but actually pointing out a character flaw. You would think that as many conversations as we've had I would have spent a little more time in reflection on the content. But I am a stubborn child at best and as my mother would say "You'd argue with a fence post."

Just one example: Back in the early 80's I spent a lot of time on the Kashi ranch, an ashram in a little town south of here over on the East Coast. One sunny day, as I walked across the grass toward one of the buildings a young man I knew well crossed paths with me and stopped me to ask "Michael, you have a fairly big ego, do you think my ego is big?" I said I had no idea. That was all there was to the exchange and we went on our ways. But I puzzled over the thought of having a big ego. How does one discern the size of one's ego? I was clueless.

Later that evening I was in Darshan (devotional service) with about two hundred other people and I asked Ma Jaya "Do I have a big ego?" She said "Yes, and it will cause you a lot of pain." "How long will it last?" I said. She said "That depends on you." I raised my hand again to ask another question and she said "Enough!"

The next day, and for several days there after, I was miserable with self loathing and disgust. I didn't even have a reason I could attach to the feeling, it was just there, dark and deeply morose. It passed and after some reflection and a little relaxed interest in the question of its source an answer came.

First, her attention was enough to bring up what needed to be purged at that moment. Second, my Higher Self set me up with a walk in the direction of another who like me was seeking release. Third, my egocentric desire for clarity regarding ego on one hand and confirmation I had a small ego on the other drew me like a moth to flame. The truth freed me of my delusion and set me straight. Ego identification with knowledge resulted in a piece of it being torn away.

This is the destructive/redemptive force called Kali, manifest in Ma Jaya, to benefit my awakening. Kali was a common experience in her presence. I know with further questioning I would have brought on much more suffering of "truth" which is, I suppose, why she stopped me.

In my opinion God wants you to be happy. The ego wants everything else. Having both is the crest of the wave.

Thoughts On The Illusion of Control

“God speaks only to the oldest souls, the ones most experienced in living and suffering. ‘You shall belong to no-one and to nothing, to no party, to no majority, to no minority, to no society except in that it serves me at my altar. You shall not belong to your parents, nor to your wife and children, nor to your brothers and sisters, nor to them who speak your language, nor to those who speak any other — and least of all to thine own self. You shall belong only to me in this world.”
~Franz Werfel

I was cruising the web using Stumbleupon and came across that quote on this site http://www.bemyastrologer.com.

Regardless of what one may think of Astrology this quote fits like a glove in my life. Many years ago a friend, inspired by my interest in Astrology, studied my chart. She told me, in greater length, based on her analysis I am like a mineral in fluid state that crystallises over a period of time only to be immersed in solution of extreme experiences, dissolved and then re-constituted again after a change in the inner and outer environment is complete. I found this to be both a pleasant and unpleasant thought.

It felt unpleasant because it smacked no choice. It presumed stability was out of reach. My life would continue to be disrupted and all I had built up over time would crumble at my feet leaving me with the task of rebuilding. (e.g. I've held over 40 distinctively different occupations.)

Pleasant because I will never be bored with an unchanging field of view. I would never be stuck in a pattern of waking sleep like an automatic line worker in a factory of repetitive behavior.

In all actuality, both are true. Further, I have learned to appreciate the radical changes and the periods of relative calm. The only painful quality is the absence of significant power over my material environment and the occasional difficulty in repeating an action or set of words, at my direction or that of another. To me no two moments are alike and the difference between this moment and the next is huge. Nothing remains the same from one moment to the next. Boundaries are extrapolated from observing others expectations and psychically tuning to their willingness to engage. Mistakes are plentiful, of course.

I am continually amazed at the differences I see from one person to the next when it comes to creating stability. Some people are at ease with life following patterns that repeat day after day. A cookie cutter life. Others create periods of repetition followed by short bursts of chaos. Controlled chaos though. Too much is exactly that... too much.

Stability lends itself to the illusion of control. Most are comfortable when able to predict what will happen next. The comfort strengthens the illusion. Events viewed on a larger scale appear to follow our expectations. If we look closely though we will see that there are always subtle changes and nothing ever repeats itself exactly. The changes may appear to be insignificant, they're not. The changes point out the subtle references the Higher Self imposes on the moment to, over time, fulfill the need for experience. Souls need experience or they become fallow and eventually leave the form to it's mindless repetition. Experience is food for the soul and the soul starves if the attention is forced into a limited frame of reference long term.

This isn't an exhortation to call chaos into the life any more than a criticism of those who find comfort the illusion of control. I feel certain that we are getting what we need regardless of what that may be. I feel certain , absolutely certain I chose the life I've lived. I was only bored when, as a child, I didn't get to pursue the experience I thought was my choice. Here I had the illusion I COULD control if my mother would just let me go.

People who survive extremes in their search for new experience and feel comfortable with chaos reigning over their lives have fat souls, usually. They will understand, after many repeated shifts in their point of view, that life isn't constant anything. If those same people take the high road in their responses to these shifts there comes a moment when they get it... the only constant is Love.

Those whose lives appear to have regular, timed out events and a finely structured order over which they seem to have control come to Love through realizing devotion to principal or virtue. It often appears like a ray of sunlight through a crack in the structure. I am reminded of a vast cathedral, dark and somber with a crack in a great stained glass window high on the wall. A brilliant sunbeam piercing the veil of dogma, illuminating the body-mind.

What a wonderful life. The search for stability blown away by the light of Love only to reassert itself as the ego reforms to carry the seeker toward the greatest change of all: Death of the frame that holds the picture of life.

Control is an illusion.

Love Knows No Ambition

I recently posted on Facebook a quote from a talk by J. Krishnamurty: "Where there is Love there is no ambition." I didn't really expect a response, much less the two I actually got. One was distinctly questioning of the remark via a questioning of Mr. Krishnamurty's character and the situation of his culture and political environment. The other was a simple "Hmmmm" which I took to be undefined questioning of the validity of the statement. I certainly could have misinterpreted these responses. Regardless, they inspired some further thought on the subject in an attempt to understand the perspective of the comments.

Here is what has come of that.

My first thought was people who have no undefined experience with Love also have no awareness Love needs no other quality than Itself to exist. In other words, they've never experienced Love in It's purest state. Love at this level of existence is without definition, boundless and forever. One becomes simply a sea of bliss. This alone is beyond comprehension even after experiencing it. No definition: Inability to recognize differences because none, including self, exist. Boundless: Infinite Being. Forever: Absence of mortality. Sea of joy: one becomes a drop of joy immersed in an endless sea of joy.

It is important to realize, from a lesser perspective with an intact ego, that in this state of mind their are no relatives or loved one's. There is no body to have needs. There is no name of the self which also does not exist. There is no ego to tell you right and wrong, up or down, believe or doubt. In fact if the experience didn't result from a process one would never know it was occurring. One must return from this state to attention, with at least a modest identity intact, to recognize one had been there. Otherwise the experience is actually physical death. It is however, ego death we're talking about here. Naturally a very low percentage of the world population actually have this experience and live to tell about it. Often those who do are labeled crazy and some actually become residents of asylums.

People have been put to death for espousing the attributes of pure Love, but we know this. We've heard and read these stories. Many of us are appalled by this, we cannot understand why others would behave in this manner. And yet, when someone who has disappeared into the Highest State of Awareness shares what they recognize as an obstacle to achieving It people invested in Love being something other than what it is feel threatened.

There can be no possible investment, no wanting, no ambitious agenda on the part of pure Love. All other points of view are threatened by the Truth of Love. In fact the experience of pure Love will destroy any and all beliefs, images, attachments, ambitions and identities the "experiencer" may hold consequential or otherwise. The reality of this is put forth in every major spiritual tome since writing began.

From Hebrew scriptures for example, "GOD is no respecter of persons", and "Man's doing is as foolishness to GOD. GOD's doing is as foolishness to man." There are many more.

From the Hindu scriptures comes this one, spoken to Arjuna by Krishna when his beliefs created resistance to sending his army to battle his relatives in a war, "I am death, destroyer of worlds."

And these words spoken by Jesus "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it."

And from A Course In Miracles: "Nothing unreal exists, nothing real can be threatened."

For the sake of reference, I've disappeared into that Sea of Joy. And yes, my life was destroyed.

The Madness Of Sadness With Happiness

I’m a Christian (defined as a person Baptized in the Christian faith and a believer in the words theoretically spoken by the man Jesus). I’m a Buddhist (defined as a follower of the Eightfold Path). I’m a Hindu (defined as a believer in God In All Things). I am a Taoist (defined as having recognized all is only a supremely intelligent, unmoved field of infinite wisdom without intention other than to be). I am a follower of the way of the American Indian, generally (defined as one who recognizes his connection with the Gaia). I am a scientist, however poorly educated (I believe creation may be reduced to a set of equations confirming infinite existence). For various purposes, both selfish and unselfish, I am also a Pagan, a Jew, a Muslim and any other belief system one may find practiced or otherwise held in the mind of Mankind. if I am to be acceptable to GOD I must accept GOD.

Here’s why. In the Old testament of the Hebrew religious scriptures, prior to the advent of Christ Consciousness in the man Jesus, there is a passage I accept as true and presented as direct communication from YHVH stating; GOD is omnipresent (everywhere) omnipotent (powerful above all else) and omniscient (seeing the all and the everything). Elsewhere in that same set of scriptures the statement “All is GOD” is found. This means to me that nothing exists or can be found outside of GOD, untouchable by GOD or doable without GOD’s approval. Therefore all that happens, including sadness, murder, mayhem, gladness, joy and creativity, does so with the absolute sanctity of GOD. This alone is enough to make one both full of misery and filled with joy at the same time. Madness in other words.

A corroborative quote from the Hebrew bible: The workings of Man are as foolishness to GOD. The workings of GOD are as foolishness to Man.

I Love you and there is nothing you can do to stop me. That is the heart of Christianity.